The Core Self

What incurs a sense of self?
An undeniable certainty that we know who we are?

Or is it the awareness that we constantly grow and
change around a single glowing core?

The energy of this core pulsing with the want,
no,
the need to shine, always for something more.

Can we accept the changing colors of ourselves
as we are or will we always be
trying to fill ourselves up to bursting with
‘what if’? What could?

What would it be like to sit alone
with ourselves
and be content with the sounds of our own energy
pulsing inside our head?
The colors shifting as we accept each new piece.

If someone knows, can you tell me how?

Tell me.
When you are alone with nothing but yourself to
keep you company,
how do you stop from going mad with the
deafening sounds of your own thoughts
exploding slowly from the inside out?

Instead, tell me how to be at ease with the pain
not held at bay by the distractions of
living.

My core doesn’t pulse with my heartbeat.
Rather it vibrates with the constant need to maintain
strength.
I can hear the hum of my need to to break growing
LOUDER.
But I can’t. No. I won’t.

I’ll just vibrate until one day I will finally pulse.
One nuclear pulse that will reverberate across time,
from where I never was to where I will always be.
A mushroom cloud of me,
every particle a piece of me floating
until all that’s left behind is a core void of color.

Only
Bright white light.

This entry was posted in Poetry, Reflections and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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