Because I Have To

I’ve never been one for camouflage.
I do not blend, I am not idle.
My feelings flicker across my face
like a slideshow for all to see.

This society I’m in likes camouflage.
They like conformity, sameness.
The internet is for those who can
not blend into the trees.
People with loud opinions can now
scream them from screens.

I do not need followers or likes.
I may have loud opinions,
but I’ll still say them offline.
I do not conform, I am not ‘sameness.’

I enjoy reading other’s blogs,
but if I were to choose…
I’d keep writing.
I am not here to read other’s words,
and I don’t need my words to be read.

I write because I have to.
Because if I don’t,
My flickering face will be uncontrollable.
Because if I don’t,
The little camouflage I have will disappear.
Because if I don’t,
I’ll keep feeling deeply with no place for it to go.
Because if I don’t,
I’ll lose a part of myself.

FullSizeRender

If I had to choose...
I’d write.
Because I have to.

——————————————————————————————–

Let me first point out that I LOVE reading other’s blogs. It is really enjoyable, and the WordPress community continually astound me everyday. However, that being said, I am not on WordPress for any other reason then for myself. I know, narcissistic… but is it really? We spend so much time calling people egotistical or narcissistic if they care about themselves, but the average woman does not like herself. Why? Because of societal standards and expectations of beauty, actions, etc. I have my blog so I can write. Writing allows me to push through that negativity, those standards, and root out the feelings within myself. I feel deeply, and writing is about self-love. I am proud of my writing, my blog, and I am proud that I get closer and closer everyday to being able to say, “yes, I love myself.”  And that’s a beautiful thing.

Other responses I’d like to highlight:
This first response by The Cheeky Diva had me outright laughing. Hilarious and brutally honest.
This response by Epenthesis was very thought provoking and written beautifully.
And this response by Hasty Words was felt deeply and I feel a certain kinship to your post.
———————————————————————————————-
Weekly Photo Challenge: Depth

This post also goes towards this week’s photo challenge about depth. I took this photo aiming for a subtle field of depth. Then there’s the post itself. I don’t write. I feel writing. When I put words onto paper, I ooze emotion through the keyboard or my pen. That’s what this picture I took means to me. Thanks!

Thanks!

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This entry was posted in Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Because I Have To

  1. asnappshot says:

    Really well done.

    Like

  2. Pingback: While You Were Sleeping | Feminine Vestige

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